The Holiday Pounce or the Cat is on Steroids

Sometimes the holiday season is just upon me, unannounced points of light pristine as newly fallen snow. It is joy uncontained, this magic of my holiday heart, a music all its own.

This year, I am very like the boy in “Walking in the Air.” The music is new to me but in England it is a beloved Howard Blake song written for the 1982 television adaptation of Raymond Briggs’ The Snowman.  It is a traditional holiday favorite.

Perhaps that is how holiday traditions are made. New only one time and for all the holidays yet to come, remembered, sometimes as magic.

In ways unforeseen, feline EmmaRose and I are exploring our own version of walking in the air. In keeping with the title of this post, she is on steroids. For that matter, so am I.

It has not been what I would have anticipated for either one of us.

At Rest 0215

As you can see, most flights of fancy are in EmmaRose’s dreams. That said, there are moments the catnip mouse flies through the air, ever prey to EmmaRose’s declawed but deft paws. Usually, a serious nap follows. This has always been her way.

EmmaRose has reached a certain age where chronic inflammation in her gastrointestinal tract is now permanent. Prednisone gives EmmaRose a chance to keep her life as she has known it. In all things, same old, same old is EmmaRose’s idea of walking in the air.  The even keel is her joy.

As a woman of a certain age with an increasing number of chronic health conditions, I, too, aim for the joy of even. Every morning I check our respective steroid doses on the daily calendar. EmmaRose’s is in liquid form, which she prefers dribbled on flakes of tuna.

I take my tablets with warm, lemon water and set the timer for an hour. I meditate; EmmaRose naps.

Meditating on steroids is not a busy blur. Just the opposite, actually.  In the opalescent hours, dark and not far from morning–dawn’s assurance lurks–my body stills into one breath after another.

Inflammation signals, initially insistent as pain, ebb. More like soft points of light than not. Tramadol fans the flames of burning joints into embers as Gabapentin wends its way through the maze of misfiring nerves.

Within the hour, my body finds its balance to begin the day.  There will be constant shifts as medicine and body seek mutual agreement. Cooperation is fluid.

I am “floating in the midnight sky,” glimpsing the possibilities a life with traditional medicine may offer. The points of light are innumerable. Such is the dawn of change.

But even change will not stay. One cannot hold onto the midnight blue for it is only a moment’s ride. Always, the magic lasts just long enough for us to remember to believe.

Whether or not we go walking in the air is our choice. We can enrich our experience as much or as little as we choose. We are not confined by what our bodies can or cannot do.

Our most powerful tool—our curiosity, our ability to imagine—is what wraps and re-wraps the world so that it once again is new and shiny.

To go walking in the air is to “take the world by surprise,” to open our arms to joy, believing nothing is impossible. It only takes a moment to believe. And then our feet touch the ground.

To accept that walking in the air is as necessary as keeping our feet on the ground is to know joy, ours to live or not.

It is a game of catnip mouse with declawed paws.

It is the awe of experiencing each moment for none can ever stay.

Sometimes we walk in the air. Sometimes our footsteps are one in front of the other, grounded. It is an ever shifting balance.

Happy holidays. You are all points of light.

21 thoughts on “The Holiday Pounce or the Cat is on Steroids

  1. Pingback: As My Laundry Lay Drying and Other Tools of the Trade | KM Huber's Blog

  2. What a beautiful post, Karen. Meditation is so good for us. I need to do it. Wishing you and EmmaRose peace and joy and a Happy and Healthier New Year!

    Like

    • Thank you, Ann! As I mentioned in my response to Tiramit, meditation is changing how I live in the non-meditative state. I am able to observe what is happening and as the observer respond. Really, it is such a different mindset; always, I aim for even. 😉 I wish for you a 2016 full of rainbows, butterflies, indeed a year of splendor, of poetry. I really do enjoy your work, Ann.
      Karen

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you,Tiramit. I have been so fortunate in that I have not had difficulty meditating throughout this entire illness. If anything, I have spent more time in meditation. As I mentioned to you in a comment on your blog, more and more the meditative state enters the rest of my day. There is a lot less reacting and more responding, including the ever available response of silence. I believe that comes from removing the fear and tension around pain, something I’m able to do in meditation. Outside the meditative state, pain is a signal and the mind-body considers its options. As a completely different mindset. Always appreciate you stopping by.
      Karen

      Like

    • Hello, Diana! Hope you and yours had a lovely holiday season. EmmaRose and I had one of our best. I’m glad you enjoyed the post; it means a lot that you enjoy my work.
      Karen

      Like

  3. laura and I have loved the Snowman since our kids were young……. it is beautiful and emotional, like your eloquent writing. I especially liked your line “whether or not we go walking in the air is our choice.” Inspiring!

    Like

    • Ah, thank you, Craig, for such kind words regarding my writing. As you can tell, I am absolutely delighted to have discovered The Snowman and this lovely melody. It is really quite perfect, isn’t it? It means a great deal that you enjoy my posts. Thank you, Craig.
      Karen

      Like

    • So glad you enjoyed this post, Audrey. And thank you for your kind words. I apologize for taking so long to respond. And yes, I believe that “Walking in the Air” is one of the most haunting yet beautiful melodies I’ve heard. It has not left me yet. EmmaRose and I hope you and yours had a lovely holiday season. Thank you for your thoughtful comments; please know they are so appreciated.
      Karen

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s